Well, why don't you get on the phone to the major sporting leagues around the world that have all cancelled or postponed their seasons? The event organisers taking hits worth hundreds of thousands to cancel open air concerts and suchlike? Tell them all to just continue as normal, because despite what the medical professionals say, it's just a nonsense.
I know you're the resident fuckwit, but take a day off, eh? Away and "self-isolate" for a few weeks, will you?