Cedric Silkyshag

I've checked my life-insurance: I'm not covered for going to Paisley of an evening. Or at any time.

She'd be glad to get rid of me.

Don't St. Midden have a ticket-booth behind our stand? (Accepts cash, ginger bottles, and bags of crack.) Make sure you have the correct money for your programme: handing over a fiver brings the response "D'ye waant uh blow-joab ur a shag wi' at?" I fucking hate Paisley.

Well, that's me stuffed. Would require an overnight stay and I don't see the mistress allowing that.

Careful what you wish for: he might bring back the "Go for good health be a winner as well" song. OT: Apparently Mick Jagger was furious the first time his popular beat combo was introduced as "The greatest rock n' roll band in the world".

Andy Ritchie, anyone? - the original human Subbuteo man you could bring on only to take corners and free-kicks.

I forgot to say: a guid St. Andrew's Day tae awma readers.

Bugger. Went for a pee and missed #4.

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I think they were caught on their heels a bit at the start with Saints pouring forward. And if they didn't give away chances at 2-0 they wouldn't be Motherwell.

SHOORLY.

You said it. Back to the beginning.

That's a relief. Until they pull the inevitable one back.

He started badly giving away two easy passes (either side of him getting the ball back) but in fairness he's looking much better since the team settled down.

Hauf-time - HELP! - my arse is stuck to the seat.

That's a relief - we did nothing for 20 minutes. Dundee losing at home to QoS.

Whose side is Grimshaw on?

Let's hope for a few goals to take our minds of our freezing bollocks.

Surely. Surely........................

My first thought was that we'd be moved to the Sunday (Utd out the hat first) but I think their game with Hibs is a TV certainty along with, um, Partick Thistle v Somebody. Hope there's a quick decision so we can get a cheap train tickets. (And stock up on nappies: shitey pants game.) Anybody know which channel has "first dibs"?

Hearts and Aberdeen are usually a fair bet for (Enter name). I'm sticking to my prediction (elsewhere) of Firhill. O'Shellick v BSC Glasgow. East Kilbride v Newrangers

I read earlier that it's on Sportscene but as I don't have a telly I've no idea when that is.

With the Fourth Round draw due today who do you fancy getting? A wee trip to somewhere we've never been? Somewhere closer to home to increase the size of the support? Anyone at FP? (I've omitted "Easy team anywhere" as this is Motherwell we're talking about.) Mr. Ladbroke is anxiously awaiting my annual £50 donation.

That's one of the problems against a SUPPOSEDLY "big" club (Hibs are supposedly a big club). The attention was all on them and their sparkling new manager - a guy who was shown through the door marked "Do One" by Sunderland, ffs - with no mention of a reasonable performance by the opposition. We edged them on possession (51%) though it felt like more, but our 10 corners to their one shows where we let ourselves down. It's just like watching Arsenal. That's the scary thing.

How in f**k was that NOT a penalty?