Warning: may contain nuts/apocryphal material......
An old friend of mine (sadly departed) claimed that, at a 'Well match at Shawfield, Clyde were about to take off Brian Ahern, their veteran midfielder. As the new substitute (unknown) was waiting to come on, a Clyde fan vented, "Oh, no! They're taking off Ahern and bringing on a haddie!"
And don't get me started on Harry Haddock.