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An Update From The People's Front Of Judea


Steve Diggle
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A Fatwa has been issued on all other supporters groups

 

All Motherwell fans WILL join 'The Peoples Front of Judea' ™

 

Entry to games will be £10 or free to those who dye their hair (and beards if they fancy) ginger in tribute to our beloved leader.

 

TV Cameras shall be banned except for the purposes of highlights

 

The press box will be redisigned - with the seats facing the park

 

An on line petition will be opened with the aim of gaining the signatures of 100000 brethrin with the aim of having Sir Stephen Kirk canonised

 

There will be hot and cold running hoes and gigolos provided at half time during all home matches

 

The Away dugout shall be drenched in the manure of 100 sacred cows prior to Aberdeen Home Games

 

The mascot will be a 20ft robotised tramp - reflecting our heritage as the dossers

 

Planning permission will be cast assunder and an army of 4000 trusty martyrs and (screwfix account holders) will devote the summer of 2012 to building new shiny stands on either side of the hollowed turf

 

All Motherwell fans will be required to change their name to Reg.

 

 

Who's In?

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It's official - the People's Front of Judea has finally shown what it's all about - discarding our mascots!

 

We were "shocked" and are in "awe" of this suggestion!!

 

Biggus Dickus and Sillius Soddus have been with us for years and are loved by many! Kids in particular love and associate with them, and can join the Centuwion Club! They add colour and friendly cheer to match days and have a commercially consistent visual marketing link to our Club - Now People's Front of Judea would wish us to condone a "Naughtius Maximus" style of mascot fighting wabid, wild animals every week - what ill timed nonsense!

 

The more serious point though surely is their activity ( or lack of) focus? At a time when the Club are introducing a new ownership proposition; new legislation targets football fans, and our fan base have clearly expressed their views on what the match day experience should look like, it seems incredible this group are so far out of touch with fellow Well fans!

 

I can't remember the last time ( if at all) this group produced anything positive or relevant? And after a lengthy period of digesting their own fans survey - none of the responses having appeared to have been actioned- come out with this gem of a proposal!

 

The Judean People's Front in contrast continue to:

 

 

actively discuss and lobby the Club on their plans for sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health and the Well Society;

 

organise events to then donate funds to both Club and Community projects;

 

Will in the next week, conclude the erection of a permanent memorial to Phil O'Donnell;

 

are in active dialogue relating to new football fan legislation;

 

are in active dialogue with Club regarding the farcical situation created by visiting Celtic fans at recent home match;

 

 

Continue to raise the "real" issues raised by fans following our recent fan survey - including safe standing areas, food kiosk pricing and overall stadium facilities on match days.

Few have ever really understood why this People's Front of Judea was established, given both the Supporters Association and ourselves , Judean People's Front, have been here and working for many years. Even less, I feel now, will relate to this group and maybe its them that should be retired and not The Bears?!

 

It may not be a life threatening issue ( well maybe for Brian !) but let's make sure we KEEP BIGGUS DICKUS & SILLIUS SODDUS!!!

 

Email the Club ; give them a call ; answer the People's Front of Judea thread established on the fans forum websites, and let them see they have missed the point and should listen firstly, and then act!

 

Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products

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