insrebus

Certainly not. Normally I would pour paraffin on my bawz and then ignite them.

Grass

Im going for Bowman. Tremendous tattoos and fake tan, really white teeth and crisp hair cut. No good at football but that's not important anymore

Call me old fashioned but after watching motherwell for 40 years my interpretation of a decent "matchday experience" is as follows: win the game The end

Could you imagine how good Holm Kraska would have been if he'd had a twitter account? Guy was class

Decent professional performance. The usual guff from "The complainer"' in the cooper stand reached new depths today. "Away and chase yourself" and "you're a joke Motherwell" were delivered at regular intervals. A Motherwell "supporter" who longs for failure to make him truly happy.

A complete imposter directing a team to play football that is brutal to watch. If I didn't have a season ticket no way would I pay in to watch that.

I've spent about £75 this season for me and my boys to watch us loose 7-0 to hamilton at that dump. That's why I left early. I care. Some of the players don't. Not whinging as you say, just pointing out fact. Went to firhill as well to "inspire them", but they also failed miserably.

A good friend has suggested that we should possibly see if 1980s Panto star Christian is available? He's got Motherwell at heart and could help Barra turn it round

I think he might, Don Estelle is on trial and has been on fire in training. He could play the no 10 position, allowing Craig Moore to move to left back

looking forward to Barraclough's team selection for next Saturday, I think he'll go with Stephen Hawking at right mid, Tam Cowan on the left, Gunnar up front with Wendy from the ticket office. 2-0 Motherwell

Bit of a long shot but hope someone can help, dropped my wallet inside the ground today, did anyone hand one to the police or stewards?

The night before his trip to Embra and Bobwilsonanchorman is reviewing pictures of previous conquests and no doubt getting moist over it. remember the phrase 'Well fans Be careful

I know two that would be up for that, step forward Motherwells Colin and Justin. Remember the code phrase in times of danger Be careful, these guys go off like two bob rockets if aroused, what a mess

'Well fans, the protests and allegations have started from the gruesome twosome, Bob Wilson & Petty, both regular patrons of CC Blooms As mentioned earlier, we need a code word or phrase to warn innocents when Motherwells Colin and Justin are in action. How about, "Have you ever seen John Boyles wife?" Any other suggestions?

Gents It was I that outed the group of older Motherwell Fans in the picture taken in CC Blooms who were there to groom younger 'Well fans for all sorts of shocking, lewd behaviour. To ensure the safety of all vulnerable young Dossers, I have have infiltrated this group and will travel with them to Edinburgh on Saturday. If I notice any change in their behaviour, i.e movement down below, rubbing of thighs or comments like "oooooh he's nice" towards young 'Well fans I will use a code word to warn you. Please post the secret code word I should use. Remember, these guys are predators, and think nothing about feeding each other mashed up custard creams whilst watching " At home with the Communards" Be warned PS BobWilsonAnchorman is the leader of this group

Can you suggest another group of skilled labour that will do the job for nothing at short notice? I don't know if you are aware, but the army don't just kill people.

Building bridges in Cumbria

Just out of interest, can you explain what you find so abhorrent about soldiers of the British Army?

All ranks above Sgt do not get paid overtime

John Philliben